Deployments and Separations

WHAT IS A DEPLOYMENT?
A deployment is military duty away form home. It may be as short as a drill weekend or as long as an unaccompanied overseas tour. The purpose for these deployments or separations is to keep our military forces trained and at the highest state of readiness to meet our global military commitments. Your
service member may deploy at any time, although most separations are scheduled well in advance. The nature of the military makes it extremely important to have you family affairs in order so that you will be able to take care of unexpected situations that may come up during a deployment or separation.

THE FOUR BASIC STAGES OF SEPARATION
Did you know that every one of us who faces separation goes through four basic stages? By becoming aware of these stages we will be able to cope better. We will not be mystified or afraid of these stages, but rather, will use them to better the relations and ourselves with our spouses and children.

PROTEST: Against your service member’s departure usual comes a week or two before he is due to leave. They talk of feeling tense, selfish, unbelieving that he or she will actually leave, and guilty about not wanting their service member to go. There is also frustration with the increased hours your service member spends getting ready to leave, your awareness of how many household chores and family business must be handled before they go, and a bona fide physical, as well as mental, exhaustion for everyone.

DESPAIR: Is the tearful period, which may come even before your service member departs. Thought like, “How will I ever do this without him or her?” is common. There is also difficulty in sleeping due to general fear for one’s safety; even the usual noises in the house seem threatening.

DETACHMENT: Is the level on which you live for most of the separation. It is a state of relative calm and confidence in handling day-to-day living. If a major crisis occurs, however, you may tend to revert to the stages of despair and protest.

RETURN ADJUSTMENT: Is accompanied by awareness of the noises in the house. Many family members experience an incredible emotional and physical frenzy, getting every inch of the house and themselves ready for the return of the service member. Your service member will arrive exhausted from the final days away, eager to be home. The first days of unwinding bring long conversations to attempt to catch up. Finally he or she spends lots of time sleeping.